dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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