Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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