I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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