yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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