Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize