I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize