I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize