First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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