I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
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