I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
We have so much sex to catch up on
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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