Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i think i have two assholes
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
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see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
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I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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