How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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