Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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