and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize