I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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