so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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