i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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