Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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