omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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