My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
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Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
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Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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