Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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