If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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