so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
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Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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