for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
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he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
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We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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