he thought i was a dude.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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