I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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