I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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