And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize