I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I wish there were birth control emojis
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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