I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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