Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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