god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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