Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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