Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
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