WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
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she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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