i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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