I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize