You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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