I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize