There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize