the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
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She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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