Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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