When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
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they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
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somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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