Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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