The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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