After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize