I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
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I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
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Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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