My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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