Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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