Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
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I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
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soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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